Keeping You In Stitches

Archive for January 2010

Please DO NOT send me anymore emails that say “forward to 7 people and see what happens on your screen. It’s hilarious.”  I’ve fallen for it for the last time!!!

Nothing, nothing, nothing, happens!  I’m too busy to have nothing happen!

Any more emails like this and I will block you!

Have a great week, y’all!

Tonight while waiting at the deli at Kroger, a man walked up beside me.  He wanted to engage me in conversation – “don’t those salads look good” – I replied “yes”  …..  “hmmmmmm, don’t that roughage look good?”  I said “yes”….then he proceeded to say “I guess that’s what they call it”.  I shouldn’t have said anything, but I did.  I told him that was decoration and it was called grape vines.  Then, and I’m not kidding!!!  He said “well, I guess you could eat  it as roughage and then you would have a turd”.  I just shrugged my shoulders on that one.

Then he proceeded to pick up some banana pudding and ask me if I could buy it for him because he only had 4 cents and his food stamps wouldn’t come till next week!  I said “nope”.  

I just wish on some of my excursions, I had friends with me to witness these happenings!

OK, I do have trouble remembering….sometimes!  For me, the most frustrating thing is remembering all the damn passwords!

I spent 12 minutes this morning trying to get in to a website….and when you have to click “send me a new password”, or the reminder or whatever you click on….it takes forever, so it seems.

I guess I’m going to have to write down all my passwords, or, wait a minute, the light bulb got brighter….make a folder with all my passwords in it!

At any rate, it’s one of my pet peeves….another one is having to type in the letters you see, so it’s secure!  If someone other than me is in the website and those letters come up, don’t they just type what they see?  If someone knows, please explain it to me how that is secure.

My solution to the NBC problem with Jay Leno is to put Kathie Lee Gifford with him!

Am I the only person that saw Regis, Kelly and Valerie Bertonelli on Monday’s program?  Kelly was exercising in heels and Valerie in high heeled knee high boots!  I personally thought they looked ridiculous!

Have any of you ever seen anyone wearing heels to exercise?  Oh I get it, the heels make you look taller and slimmer…..so perhaps the heels are a weight loss/look that will catch on!

After spending most of the week-end on the computer, watching TV, wandering around the house bemoaning the fact it’s too cold to get all the Christmas decorations put away, I’ve come to many conclusions.

1.  The girl with the red lipstick in the Progressive Insurance commercials annoys me to no end!!!

2.  Who cares that Jerry Seinfeld thinks NBC has done something wonderful by moving Jay Leno back to late night. I hope that David Lettermen is having so much fun over this….can’t wait to see what he has to say tonight about it!

3. Yep, it’s freezin’ ass cold every where.  However, this has proved that going to FL to escape winter cold, is just not far enough south!  Save your pennies folks, and go further where you’re guaranteed warm weather.

4.  We all need to be applying for assistance in heating our houses….the only thing in our house that got a work out this week-end was the furnace!

5.  Read a soup cookbook from cover to cover….lots of recipes I would like to try!

6.  Cesar Milan does wonderful things with dogs…yep, we’re trying some of those things with our dogs…will let you know if it works.  It’s more like training the owners, not the dogs! LOL

7.  Dieting boils down to portion control, duh!

8.  Cleaning the oven does help warm the house when it’s frigid outside….but it doesn’t last long (the heat, I mean).

9.  Enjoyed watching the birds at the feeders this week-end….I swear we have a blue jays as big as chickens…wonder if they taste like chicken?

10. Sofi and Oliver (dogs) love wearing their coats outside….they sit perfectly still while they are being put on them.

Let’s hope this week brings “more normal” temps back to everyone!

And none too late!

Because it’s been too cold to do much outside, we’ve been glued to the TV, especially, the Dog Whisperer.

One thing we have noticed is that Cesar says “shhh” very quietly and gets the dogs attention immediately.  Well, it all looked good but when you have 4 loud ones, because each one is trying to outdo the other one, we were just a tad bit skeptical.

Mailman pulled up this morning and this usually means a bark fest like no other; Derby started the chorus, then Oliver joined in, and squeaky Sofi; Sedona was the tenor!  I walked over to the chair that Derby and Oliver were sharing and just went “shhh”….said calmly and quietly; said it again….and my gosh, the barking ceased!  Derby got down and just wandered around the living room.

Bring on more of the dog whisperer!  We are sold!

I know that Joanne will love this….any dog behavior shows, she sends our name in! LOL


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