Keeping You In Stitches

Archive for July 2007

After all the gaiety of the birthday breakfast, my husband and I headed for the golf course for a wild week-end of a golf tournament called “Braves & Squaws”.

We were rained out of our practice round but headed back to the clubhouse for the Friday night festivities.  As the DJ began he called me up in front of everyone.  He then read a poem about me always wanting to be a Southern Belle and it ended with could ya’ll just call Nancy, Dixie from now on.  It was funny and I was embarrassed, which it takes a lot to embarrass me.

Then everyone toasted me with a champagne glass of Pepsi (my choice of drink).  Here’s the coolest thing, one of my friends came through the crowd on a Hov-around with a bicycle helmet with a tiara glued to the top.  Oh, and a boa of red and black!  It was mine for the week-end to use to get around.  Let me tell you that thing scooted; I think I needed a louder horn on when I rode it through the bar! LOL

Needed to be back at the golf course by 7 a.m. on Saturday so it was an early night.


Yes, that’s sparkling grape juice on the table at Cracker Barrel!!! Nothing like a toast to a sixty year old that can’t believe she’s 60! That’s not to say, some days I feel 95 when I get up!

I got the nicest, most thoughtful gifts. Such as boobs with suspenders so when they sag, they can quickly be lifted and quite perky again; the most wonderful book on Sex after 60 from a renowned author…..of course the pages are blank! And one of the most treasured gifts, an adult bib with “I’m 60! I don’t feel old…..want to feel?” It also had three pockets at the bottom – one pocket with corn pads for my feet, another with a tube of polident, and the last one with a magnifying glass. Do I have the best friends or what!? I also received many other fun and some really, really nice things!!!

Keep in mind, my husband is the only man at this table with all of us laughing like hyenas – and me holding up my new boobs!!!

He’s beginning to worry about us going to Chicago next week for the Stitches – Midwest convention… WGN for 8 women being arrested because they are sure we’re either on drugs or drunk – wait till those tests come back negative!

limo driver

Oh my!!!!! Friday, July 27, I woke up and dressed to the nines for my birthday breakfast with my knitting friends. I convinced my husband to go along since he was taking the day off. Imagine my surprised look when I saw a limo waiting to take us and a few other knitting friends to Cracker Barrel for a birthday breakfast!!!

I had told my husband a couple of days before hand that I was going to wear my purple wig, my gorgeous pink feathered wide brim hat, a beautiful feather boa, and old shawl that I had knitted my mother in law years ago – and of course my white gloves and purse……I felt that after living in Kentucky for 14 years, I was surely a Southern Belle by now.

In our group of knitting friends there are only 2 people that don’t really fit!  And it’s because they are too skinny!!! So, you people out there in blog land, don’t you think it would be easier to force feed 2 skinny bitches, than for 7 women of stature to lose weight?  I would have thought nothing of this but USA Today had a story on the front page about this.  Well, not particularly our group, but I could read between the lines and make it fit! LOL

About 6:15 p.m. we met in the parking lot at Shoe Carnival…..5 of us…..headed to an evening of knitting at                           The Busy Needle , White House, TN.  Two women in front (the smartest 2!); and 3 women in the back.  Four of the 5 women are at the age that no matter how much a/c is blowing on you, it’s not nearly enough.  The skinny bitch sat in the middle of the back seat….complaining all the way that her vajajay was freezing.  We assured her that when we got there, she could thaw out with a blow drier.

Well, after much laughing and talking, I, the driver, one of the smart ones, realized we were almost to Nashville.  Thus, the co-pilot, the other smart one didn’t take her job seriously.  So we were only about 30 minutes late, but let me assure you, we made up for that 30 minutes! LOL

Still find it hard to believe that we got coffee, dessert, help if it was needed on what we were knitting for $5!  And a goodie bag with 3 free patterns and a skein of yarn!  Rest assured, this group will be back there!

Rained like cats and dogs on the way home…..making 2 of the 3 in the back seat a nervous wreck.

When we got to Chicago for the Stitches convention, those two have no clue on what’s instore for them! LOL

PS: Skinny bitch is still thawing out today – so she says! 

Not signing up for knitting classes this quarter because after “organizing” my yarn, I realized I need to get some projects completed!!!  Anyone out there in blog land that has this same problem?

So, Thursday, Velma, Cheryl, Jan and I made a quick trip to The Busy Needle in White House, TN for the summer July sale.

They have a 2 hour special on Thursday evenings where you work on a UFO and get help if needed; have dessert and coffee and leave with a goodie bag! How cool is that?  All for $5!!!!!

I have an idea we’ll be taking a carload down there on Thursday’s!  At least till the new season of Grey’s Anatomy comes on.

dsc00296.jpgYep, I’m one of those people that has a camera with me at all times!  I imagine this was the first time they had been asked if a pictures could be taken while removing the stitches….at least the look on his face implied that.  Knee is still swelled and I’m hobbling around especially after having been in the same position for awhile. But I’m on the road to recovery – will feel better when the swelling goes down and my foot quits swelling.  In my little pea brain, that will mean I’ve lost weight. LOL

Kaity, I’ve not forgotten about your socks and those are on this week’s agenda…. off to the needles. Ta-ta!

dsc00290.jpgOK, I’ve had enough of pitying myself and need to get back to everything else….ie: knitting!  The longer incision was made because there was a piece of bone attached to some cells that needed to come out, duh!  Dr. couldn’t find where it had broken off – therefore, I’ve been carrying around my puppy Sofi’s tooth and telling everyone that it was an undeveloped twin!  Yes, I’ve got a sick mind.  But remember, I was on some “good” drugs when I came up with that one.

VOTE HERE! Bunco Women Gone Wild